“God is good all the time”. Seldom do we realise this amidst our difficulties but He remains good forever. Almost an year ago, I completed my MSc hostel life and was coming home to stay a few months before I had to leave India for my PhD. Being the only child my parents were hesistant to send me, and finally after much prayers we started working towards it. The house was full of life and happiness as it started getting noiser after my arrival from hostel.
The family was filled with fun and cheer. Only about a month was left for me to leave home and arrangements for visa,passport,travel,shopping were going on in full swing. All of a sudden the scenario changed. My mother’s health seemed deteriorating amidst her best effort to sustain the liveliness of the place. Weakness, fever and other such things made her way towards the doctor. Not very late after that, it was diagnosed to be the advance stage of cancer.
Shocked at such a turn of events,having no time to react, we rushed to the Adayar Cancer Institute. With anxiety, we waited in the waiting room to hear the golden words from Dr.Shantha – that my mother’s tumour is not cancerous. Turn comes, Mom goes inside..fear engulfed breath, filled with impatience, restlessness and anxiety, I and my dad wait outside. soon a voice says-attender please come in and my dad walks into the doctors room. They both come out with the news: its a triple negative cancer in its last stages (T4 carcinoma) and nothing can be guaranteed.
At that very moment I received an sms by coincidence which quoted psalm 118:8-It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man. It seemed to make some sense to me, a new hope bloomed in- “If doctors say its possible, we would sing all praises to them,but if they say its an impossibilty and when it turns a possibility, we would attribute it to the glory of God”. Is anything too hard for the Lord?
It was a great dilemma whether I should be moving out of home when my family needs me the most and I need to be with them. I was getting to be indecisive whether to choose the path God had chosen as my next step or to stay beside my mother fulfilling my responsibilties as a daughter she loved the most. That was the time I could feel the presence of GOD. Someone within me asked, werent you the one who said “yea though i walk through the valley of shadow of death,i will fear no evil”? But now, only fear surrounds, worries over the uncertainities brought over by my mother’s health and eventually I came to an understanding that hope and fear cannot coexist. Where there is hope, there shouldnt be fear! Where there is fear, there cannot be hope!
We committed everything into the hands of God and God gave strength to my mother to remain cheerful, lively and strong in faith. It was a herculian task to get started with the treatment since she was triple negative and was also allergic to many medicines. So after much meetings among themselves the doctors decided to start on a Chemotheraphy and check if she was receptive to it. Chains of prayers went over and she could really feel the angels carry her through such traumatic situation with ease. No discomforts, no side effects, no allergic reactions! She could endure the chemo and hence six such chemos were planned. By the grace of God, it went well, each day being a gift from above to her and helping her learn to walk with God.
I left to France for my higher studies while these Chemos were going on confident enough that she will be alright. His sweetness was felt day after day, His presence assured amidst pain, His grace amidst discouragements and His strength amidst weakness. 7 chemos, 40 radiations and surgery with intervening Herpes, prolonged fever and rashes- she sustained it all, rather I should say, God carried her throughout it all- finally to result in doctors saying Was there a tumour? Did you come with a tumour?- with all reports showing normal!
That is the greatness of the Almighty miracle working God who turns impossibility to possibility,teaching us to experience HIM in our lives with each painful experiences we encounter. Now its one month since my mother completed her treatment, surprising the doctors who couldnt guarantee her life one year before. She stands today as a stage of miracle, worthy enough to be proud of receiving what she believed in without doubts. With Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm.Taste and see that the Lord in good. Amen.